so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
