I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
