i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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