She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
