I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
