She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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