You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
