I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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