I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
