I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
