I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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