What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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