can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
