think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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