Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
