do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
