mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i think i just lost a toe
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize