we made out on top of his cat.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
