I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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