Are we in a gay sports bar?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
