I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
