That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
