so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
