just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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