okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
