I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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