So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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