Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize