we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
