So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
