last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
