After last night, I could never be a politician.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
