I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
