it was like eating out sand paper
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
