found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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