Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize