Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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