My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
