nut hugger
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
