you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
