Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
