I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
