I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize