actually, I'm a sock model
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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