Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Floor bacon is actually really good
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
