THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
