Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
