I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
