He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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