He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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