covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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