i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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