Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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