she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
