So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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