i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
