We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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