I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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