My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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