overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
nutella sex= disaster
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
